My boyfriend says I'm not allowed to buy him...
I’LL SHOW HIM.
When I'm on my period.
Realizing I have it; Getting cramps; Someone pisses me off; Someone tells me a joke; I’m sitting in class all; I’m craving food all; My parents tell me to do something; Going to bed; Waking up, and seeing blood in my underwear; Realizing it’s finally over; Realizing it’s coming back in a month;
Student vs. Teacher
Teacher: If there are any idiots in this class, stand up. Student: *stands up* Teacher: Now, why are you an idiot? Student: I’m not, I just hate seeing you standing up there alone.
po11uticorn asked: You're perfect just the way you are. You never have to nor will I ever ask you to change for me, promise.
OMG I AM DESTINED TO NEVER WATCH TV ON MY COMPUTER...
Downloading VLC because Windows Media Player makes...
Pokemon = Ash in a coma. →
helveticunt: yourgirlfriendhatesme: Everyone needs to watch this show. This is about one of the most inventive scenes I’ve seen in a long time. I call eggs “pre-birds” because of him. Long-ass rice.
A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a deep coma....
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy?
It would be so awesome to have a celebrity's...
biebersparkle: “wait.. i’m just gonna call Justin Bieber.” Friends: “OMG CAN I HAVE HIS NUMBER?” you: Friends: you:
When cunts try and take your food at recess.
say “I” spell “map” and say “ness”
clitorful: I like to sarcastically tell my mom i’m buying drugs when in reality i actually am buying drugs.
My helix is infected. Ewwy. :3
Fuck Yeah, ARMBIRDS
My phone bill is gonna be mass this month >.>