May 2011
My boyfriend says I'm not allowed to buy him...
I’LL SHOW HIM.
When I'm on my period.
Realizing I have it;
Getting cramps;
Someone pisses me off;
Someone tells me a joke;
I’m sitting in class all;
I’m craving food all;
My parents tell me to do something;
Going to bed;
Waking up, and seeing blood in my underwear;
Realizing it’s finally over;
Realizing it’s coming back in a month;
Student vs. Teacher
Teacher: If there are any idiots in this class, stand up. Student: *stands up* Teacher: Now, why are you an idiot? Student: I’m not, I just hate seeing you standing up there alone.
po11uticorn asked: You're perfect just the way you are. You never have to nor will I ever ask you to change for me, promise.
OMG I AM DESTINED TO NEVER WATCH TV ON MY COMPUTER...
Downloading VLC because Windows Media Player makes...
Pokemon = Ash in a coma. →
Watchhelveticunt:
yourgirlfriendhatesme:
Everyone needs to watch this show. This is about one of the most inventive scenes I’ve seen in a long time.
I call eggs “pre-birds” because of him.
Long-ass rice.
A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a deep coma....
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy?
Doctor: Denephew.
It would be so awesome to have a celebrity's...
biebersparkle:
“wait.. i’m just gonna call Justin Bieber.”
Friends: “OMG CAN I HAVE HIS NUMBER?”
you:
Friends:
you:
When cunts try and take your food at recess.
say “I”
spell “map”
and say “ness”
clitorful:
I like to sarcastically tell my mom i’m buying drugs when in reality i actually am buying drugs.
My helix is infected. Ewwy. :3
Fuck Yeah, ARMBIRDS
salmonderio:
thesoundofbitchesfighting:
My phone bill is gonna be mass this month >.>
